What a lovely wee Knit & Natter we had this month?! Huge table of about twenty of us gorged our way through various criss cross chip things, halloumi wraps, cakes, a whole plethora of hot drinks and a few beers. And the nattering was also a veritable smorgasbord of topics: the valley of despair, laser eye surgery and what happens if you don’t pay (they repossess your eyes #fact), tooting and booting knitwear, so-bad-they’re-good dating events and, like that rotten penny which keeps turning up, tinder (“on the road to friendship all conversations lead to tinder” The Dali Lama said that. Don’t google it. Like, I know he said it ok?).
But now without further ado may I please introduce to you our very first President for the Day: some say she dreams in hula hoops, some say she once saved a man by knitting him back to life, some say she can actually see the Matrix. All I know for sure is she is the one, the only:
MS ABBY O MILLWARD!
President for the Day
Hey! So what are you doing there with the things and the needles and the craft?!
This is a sock that I’m really tired of knitting.
Literally just this minute you have ousted our benevolent leader Martha from the top spot and become President of our fine and upstanding branch of the Women’s Institute! Bloody go you. So I know you have organized an absolutely killer main meeting for this month. I hear it’s being held in an amazing new venue. Where is it?
A really old Chateau in the French countryside.
You walk in and we’ve got ourselves a new bar person! Who is it?
My dad, who’s dead, he’d be a shit barman but I’d like to see him.
In your wild exuberance at finally becoming President you order a round of drinks for everyone. What are we getting?!
Normally I’d go for anything with gin but this time as we are in this beautiful Chateau it’s going to be that dusty old bottle at the back of the cellar – you can have your choice of colour.
Oh wait, shut the front door – looks like this party is catered and what a beautiful spread it has! What are we chowing down on?
I’m really into meze at the moment so lots of halloumi and spanakopita and tzaziki. Yum.
You have managed to wangle an absolutely amazing speaker for us. Who is it and what are they chatting about?
Sir Robert Winston is speaking about the science of women’s bodies – hormones and that.
We have a little break and the dessert trolley is being brought round (yeah we have a dessert trolley now) what’s on it?
A trio of apple and ginger crumble, Eton mess and chocolate fondant.
Time for the second half of the meeting and we are learning a new skill! What’s it going to be?
How to make explosives with everyday items from your kitchen like jelly babies and vinegar.
Fab, so glad I can make sh*t explode now. Time for the raffle! OMFG… you only go and WIN! What is it?!
Lifetime supply of yarn!
So it’s coming to the close of a stellar meeting and you’ve got one piece of advice to pass onto the ladies gathered there before you let them go back into the world. What is it?
When it comes to craft and really anything in life if there is something that needs doing: JFDI.
Just do it.
Woah man, that was deep. Thank you so much for sharing your meeting with us. It’s been totes emosh and amazeballs.
The next Knit & Natter will be held at Leon in Spitalfields Market on Tuesday 14 April. Come along and you too could be discussing tinder!
Blog by Jodie Major for Shoreditch Sisters WI