“Filthy talk can be such a turn on for a girl . . . no one wants to be shagged by a mouse . . . A few compliments won’t do any harm either . . . ‘I bet you want it from behind you dirty whore’ ”
Welcome to the world of lad’s mags. I recently came across a study carried out by the University of Surrey with the University of Middlesex. According to their findings, people can’t differentiate between quotes from British “lad’s mags” and interviews with convicted rapists. In fact, men were more likely to agree with quotes from the latter.
|Can you tell the difference between a rapist and the lads mags quotes about women and what they want from a real man, a relationship and how they want to be treated?
A relaxing Sunday morning breakfast turned into a heated discussion with my friends this weekend. Myself and my female friend were shocked at how inseparable the quotes between rapists and lad’s mags were; “There’s nothing quite like a woman standing in the dock accused of murder in a sex game gone wrong . . . The possibility of murder does bring a certain frisson to the bedroom” – yes, another supposedly light-hearted quote from a lad’s mag. You can find quotes from rapists and lad’s mags in the link below. But stick around, this get’s more interesting.
Another friend of mine, a male, is the epitome of gentleman. But in this discussion, sadly, he found himself defending the lad’s mags, for he said these lines was “taken out of context”.
Context; Perhaps it’s okay for lad’s mags to suggest you “go and smash her on a park bench” as long as the context is anything but a clear direction?
The issue here is the language used. Think about this one;
“A girl may like anal sex because it makes her feel incredibly naughty and she likes feeling like a dirty slut. If this is the case, you can try all sorts of humiliating acts to help live out her filthy fantasy”.
Sure, some women (I hope not girls as the writer specifies) like anal sex. Sure, some will even want to feel “dirty”. But nobody, as far as I’m concerned, wants to feel humiliated. Women (and men for that matter), will all have a limit as to what is enjoyable and what is demeaning, but to be victim of humiliation, in itself, means that the receiver is un-wanting of the situation.
What is scary, according to my male friend, and indeed the media, is that this kind of language is considered ‘the norm’. Editors and publishers, the gatekeepers of what is and isn’t decent to print in the media, have set their limits low.
I can’t help but wonder if women’s magazines are also guilty of this. But I can’t imagine Cosmo, or any other mainstream women’s lit, suggesting we should smash a man on a park bench. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? My point exactly.
I’m all for freedom of speech. But what about the right for women to not feel objectified by mainstream media?